“Boys will be Boys “and “Girls poor Girls ” are the longest withstanding cliché that we know of in our world…Stereotypes that we resented when we were growing up and stereotypes that our kids resent when they have grown up enough to make sense of the above two phrases.” Boys will Be Boys ” phrase has for centuries absolved men from many wrong doings and it’s time to stop that and make them accountable too. ” Girls are Girls …poor girls “cliché has stopped the women from going after their dreams for far too long, and given them also a reason to not work hard enough … Again for far too too long!
Times are changing , so is the world around us , there are a few strong and sensitive leaders , both men and women who are emerging and breaking the stereotype , giving us and our children a chance to get inspired. To make gender equality a reality. In in this new era , are we parents trying hard enough to merge with this new reality? Are we contributing in diminishing these age old distinctions in how we are parenting our boys and also our girls? How far have we reached ? Quite far but not far enough still because even the progressive parents who have impressive educational background backing them up are guilty somewhere and not just the uneducated people or the regressive orthodox parents out there.
The orthodox regressive parents are more straight forward in making the distinction based on the sex of their children. And have the most consistent and most gender biased parenting style. They have no ambiguity and have more acceptance from their children..Which off course doesn’t make it into an ideal scenario because their boys grow up to be Chauvinistic king size pigs and their girls grow up into submissive , I can take any shit , because I know how to ….kind of adults. Girls should be doing the housework , they don’t need to study much, let’s get them married the soonest …kind of parents. Boys should be taught riding, driving the soonest possible , the boys should be fed as soon they come home, they never need to lay the table or pick up the dishes……kind of parents.
There are some parents who treat their girls as princesses who shouldn’t be rough handled, should be dressed in frills and pink, protected from the sun, the grime and harsh words and don’t need to do much work ( because they will have to may be do a lot of it when they go to their own homes with many responsibilities ). They feel that girls should be brought up with tenderness and tenderness only. These parents also treat their sons well ….they don’t have to do any chores and are given things on a platter but their boys aren’t allowed to cry. Crying is for girls , they say ..toughen up , you have to face the bad world tomorrow …they say that a little too often. There are too many expectations from the boys ….get your marks …you can’t suck at math, it’s fine for girls because they don’t necessarily need careers ….and not math and science for sure…., and the girls don’t have to work for earning their bread tomorrow, how will you run your own businesses and homes tomorrow if you don’t study or take sciences and man up today.
And then there are parents who try the hardest to make sure that their girls and boys are brought up exactly the same way, with the same leverages, same expectations and same tenderness and also the same toughness.These are the ones who are progressing towards making the world a better place …where people hopefully will be seen as their unique selves and not as the fair sex and the not so fair sex people. In homes like these girls aren’t delicate princesses and cry babies, they are warriors , wonder women inspired young minds making the most of their talents. Girls who understand the value of labour and know that their brains are most important part of their bodies.They are made to earn their privileges and don’t mind the arm rustles too. In homes like these boys aren’t kings either, they are sensitive to people around , work for their privileges, are allowed to cry and express their emotions. Boys who are tough Super Heroes who care and who can be the softies too and don’t mind shedding a tear. Homes where children know housework is not only the job of the mother and her house helps! Homes where boys are encouraged to be feminists and where girls are taught to be tough!Homes where boys and girls both are given the confidence that they can do anything that they want, may it be a job earmarked for men or stereotyped for women! Homes where they can dream big and are taught the importance of hard work and dignity of labour irrespective to their gender and the job associated with any gender.
But this is a long haul from where we are right now, because even these kind of homes where gender equality to quite an extent lives , aren’t the most ideal that they could be. Because when those boys and girls are maturing into teenagers …we parents find some of our gender distinction free parenting style going out of the window. Like we will make our teenage boys to be more independent ….go on metros, uber the town alone, come home later ( maybe) etc etc . And I am guilty of the above and so are so many of my friends …Not because we don’t want our girls to be more independent because it’s high time we absolve ourselves from the duty of driving them around and letting them live their lives as freely as our boys.
Sadly this is one area of our parenting style that we don’t like but are stuck with for as long as our world isn’t safe enough for girls. For as long as women aren’t respected by every monster out there. For as long as the other two kinds of homes and parents don’t start bringing up their boys differently. For as long as boys aren’t encouraged to be human and allowed to express their emotions openly, for as long as they are not brought up as kings and not as a the superior race, for as long as they are all brought up to be feminists!